What Does Narcissistic Abuse Have To Do With Spiritual Awakening?

Today, I want to talk about the connection between narcissistic abuse and spiritual awakening. I know that might sound a little unusual at first — after all, why would I be talking about emotional abuse and everything that comes with being involved with a narcissistic person in the same breath as spiritual awakening? But stay with me, because the link between the two is deeper than most people realize.

First, I want to be clear: not everyone who experiences narcissistic abuse goes through a spiritual awakening. I’m talking about a particular group of people who do. And of course, there are many different ways an awakening can be sparked—sometimes intentionally, through practices like kundalini yoga, meditation, or psychedelics, and other times unintentionally, when something triggers it without warning. The mechanics of this process are vast, and I won’t dive too deeply into them here, as that could be an entire article on its own.

So, who tends to experience a spiritual awakening after narcissistic abuse—and why?

This isn’t something you’ll find in a psychology textbook. The mainstream psychological community rarely discusses or even acknowledges it. But it’s something I’ve experienced personally and witnessed in many others. And I’m not the first to talk about it—there are countless voices on YouTube exploring this very phenomenon.

From what I’ve observed, there’s a pattern. The people most likely to awaken after narcissistic abuse are often highly empathetic—empaths—who are already seekers on a spiritual path, or at least have a deep interest in spirituality and the esoteric. These people are often referred to as “chosen ones,” “black sheep,” “lightworkers,” and so on. Essentially, they’re people who don’t quite fit into mainstream society, and who feel a strong calling to help others heal or to raise human consciousness in some way.

Coming from a background in traditional therapy, but also having a deep interest in spirituality, I don’t fully subscribe to rigid labels—either spiritual ones like “lightworker” or psychological ones that reduce narcissism to just a personality disorder. To me, narcissism is far more insidious and destructive than that—especially for people on a spiritual mission or life purpose.

So why do narcissists target empaths, lightworkers, and seekers in particular?

I believe there are two main reasons. First, empaths (especially those who have done shadow work) carry a lot of light in their energetic field, and they naturally have a kind and forgiving nature—at least until that kindness is abused or exploited. Narcissists are constantly seeking narcissistic supply—or “fuel,” as HG Tudor describes it on his YouTube channel Knowing the Narcissist. He points out that empaths are generally easier to ensnare and control than other types of people, especially in romantic relationships.

But I also believe there’s a deeper, spiritual reason. It often feels like there’s an unspoken battle between empaths and narcissists. Mission-driven empaths are here to help raise collective consciousness, while narcissists are driven by domination, control, and destruction of those who threaten their power. Some people describe this as narcissists being “possessed by the devil” or acting as agents of demonic forces to derail the missions of empaths and chosen ones.

While I resist framing it quite that starkly—because of the black-and-white thinking and religious undertones—it’s hard to ignore how much it sometimes feels like a battle between good and evil. Personally, I believe the universe, spirit, or God doesn’t take sides. Instead, it offers everyone—even narcissists—the chance to act with integrity in each moment. To me, it’s less about “good” or “bad” and more about what is truthful and fair.

So, why does narcissistic abuse so often lead to a spiritual awakening in empaths?

Here’s where it gets powerful. Narcissists often provoke empaths into their shadow traits, pushing them into their lowest behaviours. This manipulation—through tactics like gaslighting and blame-shifting—can drive empaths to act out of character, only to then be blamed for reacting. For empaths who have already been doing shadow work, these experiences can trigger deep self-examination.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist often pushes someone to their absolute breaking point. And it’s in that breaking point—the chaos, the trauma, the unbearable pain—that the conditions for a spiritual awakening arise.

Like anyone suffering narcissistic abuse, empaths may experience PTSD, confusion, and despair. They can either become consumed by it, or choose to work through the pain by reclaiming the wounded parts of themselves—the abandoned inner child who never felt good enough.

And it’s in this process that the empath rises, like a phoenix from the ashes. By examining their unhealed trauma and transforming that pain into strength, they awaken to their true power. In my view, that transmutation—turning pain into power—is one of the most profound and transformative things we can do as human beings on this earth.