When I Felt Like the Angel Numbers Were Fucking With Me: Twin Flames and the Ups and Downs of Awakening

How angel numbers showed up during my twin flame deprogramming — and why they weren’t the ones leading me astray.

If you’ve spent any time in the spiritual or New Age world, you’ve probably heard of angel numbers. And if you’ve ever dipped a toe — or your entire nervous system — into the “twin flame journey,” then you definitely know what I’m talking about.

For the uninitiated: angel numbers refer to those repeating number patterns that seem to pop up everywhere — on clocks, licence plates, receipts, microwave timers, billboards. You glance at your shopping docket and the total is $5.55. You pass a bus stop and the time blinks 11:11. It feels like the universe is tapping you on the shoulder, whispering, hey, pay attention.

I’ve been seeing angel numbers for years. And for a long time, I linked them directly to the so-called “twin flame journey” because the timing of it all coincided with my initiation into that false ideology. When I eventually realised — with a grief I can still feel in my bones — that the entire thing was a sham, and that the group I’d been involved in was, in fact, a cult… I expected the angel numbers to stop. Surely they were part of the illusion, right?

But they didn’t stop.Not then. Not now. I still see them today.

At first, I hated it. Especially 11:11 — the “official” twin flame number representing harmonious union. It made my stomach flip. Everything connected to the twin flame world felt contaminated, dangerous, and something I needed to purge from my life. Like many people trying to deprogram from a harmful belief system, I threw the baby out with the bathwater in an attempt to reclaim my sanity and my safety.

But no matter how much I tried, the numbers kept showing up.

Not constantly — more like a tide that rolled in and out depending on what was happening in my life. Eventually, I realised they weren’t tied to the cult at all. They were tied to something deeper: my own awakening.

Despite the brainwashing, despite the manipulation, despite the trauma — the whole bizarre experience had cracked me open. And the numbers weren’t remnants of a cult ideology. They were markers of my own inner expansion.

So… What Are Angel Numbers Really About?

Look, anything esoteric is notoriously hard to pin down with scientific certainty. The internet is full of dodgy angel-number guides claiming to decode every possible pattern. Tarot has its interpretations. Numerologists have theirs.

But here’s what my lived experience has shown me.

I tend to see angel numbers most during two specific emotional climates:

• Periods of deep challenge — times when life feels heavy, chaotic, or overwhelming.

• Periods of stagnation — when I’ve lost motivation, feel blocked, or start doubting whether I’m actually on the right path in this lifetime.

In those moments, the numbers feel like little nudges from my “angelic support team.” A quiet, persistent reassurance:Keep going. You’re still aligned. You haven’t lost your path, even if it feels like it.

But there were also times — especially during my involvement in the twin flame cult — when seeing angel numbers actually pissed me off. I remember thinking more than once:“Are you fucking with me?”

And honestly, that reaction made sense.

The twin flame ideology dangles the promise of “harmonious eternal union” like an emotional carrot. You’re told that every heartbreak, every trigger, every abandonment is part of the divine curriculum. So when your so-called “counterpart” is blocking you, ghosting you, bread crumbing you, or flat-out telling you you’re the worst human alive — and then you start seeing angel numbers — it’s natural to think the universe is taunting you, cock-blocking you, or just straight fucking with you.

But here’s the truth I couldn’t see back then:

Those numbers weren’t encouraging me to chase a delusion.They were trying to help me get out.

While I was interpreting them as signs to hold on, they were actually signs to let go. Signs that stepping away from the trauma bond — from the narcissist masquerading as a divine counterpart — was the correct path. Signs that the love-bombing and spiritual jargon were never about soul growth or planet-saving missions.

They were redirections, not promises.

What I See Now

It wasn’t until I fully stepped away — emotionally, psychologically, spiritually — from the twin flame cult and severed ties with the ideology that I could see the numbers clearly.

They were never fucking with me.They were never trying to lure me back into something harmful.

They were saying:

You’ve got this.Keep moving.Walk away from the narcissist, the false twin flame, the trauma bond.Your real path is waiting.Your calling is waiting.Your actual life is waiting.

And honestly? Those signs helped guide me here — writing this, sharing my story, doing the work I’m meant to do.

Angel numbers didn’t drag me into a cult.They helped lead me out.

And now, they continue to show up whenever I need that gentle reminder that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.